Lust a Prima Vista

Well, I suppose I’m about due for an update, again. Seeing as how Dani and Laura are both commenting and telling me to do so, I figured I would. I just suck at keeping a blog and or journal, so bear with me.

Not much has happened since my last update. I’ve been going out a lot lately, which is nice. I hate being stuck at home all of the time. I’ve been hanging out with Jamie, Larissa, and Shane. I work with both Shane and Jamie. Jamie being my shift runner, also known as manager, and Shane is Jamie’s boyfriend, as well as a driver. Larissa is somebody I’ve known for quite a while. I met her through one of my older friends, Amanda — I don’t get to hang out with her anymore. Larissa has the cutest baby boy. His name is Landan; he puked one me today. It sucks she’s moving to California in January. Why do my friends always leave me?

They got me into this card game called Skip-Bo. It’s pretty addicting, and everytime we hang out we play. At first I was hesitant and sat out the last couple of games, but I decided to give it a shot. I’m thinking about buying my own set of cards. The one’s at Larissa’s have been used so much that they’re like.. forever damp.

Robert and I broke up. He broke up with me when I just wanted to take a break. I still love him more than anything, and he wants me back, but I told him he can’t break up with me and then expect me to act like nothing had ever happened. I’m supposed to have an answer for him by Tuesday, but I don’t know if I can. I just hope he knows that I do love him.. and I do want to be with him; just not right now.

Other than that, nothing else has happened. I’m spending the weekend with my sister so I can go to her derby game on the 24th. I’ve never been to one! I’m excited!

Well, I figured I should update since I actually have something to update about. I finally got a job! A year ago before I moved to Connecticut, I worked at a local pizza store called Canalli’s. I ended up getting along with the owners pretty well, and Tara ended up liking me; I proved to be a good worker. ANYWAY. She was pretty let down when she found out I was leaving and wanted me to stay, but I went. I told her if she needed me to work at all that I could work and finally, she called me!

So now I’m working back at Canalli’s making a nice amount more than I made when I left. I forgot how much I missed the place and the people who worked there. I’m really glad to be working with Jamie again. I miss her when I was in Connecticut and forgot how much fun she is to work with. I get to work with Amber tomorrow night as well as Sara.

Not much else to update about. I’m pretty stoked I’m working because now I don’t feel so bad about living at my parents house and not working. Plus, I don’t feel so bad about myself because I don’t just sit at home all day anymore. I don’t like smelling like a pizza store, though.

I think that’s about it for now.. My sister has a derby game on August 24th that I’m totally psyched to go to. I’ve never been to a game and I’ve only seen them practice, so I’m not too sure what to expect! If you live in the Orange Park/Jacksonville area, check it out!

Well, my mom and dad ended up having to go up to Orange Park Medical. My step-dad’s father had a heart attack about a week ago and he’s been in the hospital ever since. I think they were going to do open heart surgery, but they told my step-dad he might not make it because his heart is too weak. I really hope it doesn’t come down to that; my step-dad will end up drowning his sorrows in the bottom of a bottle.

The reason they went up there tonight, though, is because my uncle — who by the way, is a serious alcoholic — called and said the morgue called and asked if there had been a death in the family? I’m not quite sure the details because my dad was a little stressed when he was telling me. He was drunk when he called, by the way. I usually try to take everything he says with a grain of salt.

My uncle has been an alcoholic for quite some time. On top of being an alcoholic, he was also diagnosed with cancer. The church I used to attend — Calvary Assembly of God — offered to pay for him to go away for a year to deal with it and he didn’t take it. Maybe he doesn’t want to be helped. It really breaks my heart to see someone in my family become so dependent on a substance. I know firsthand how bad these things are because I saw it with my sister, but she finally cleaned up and, like I said before, I couldn’t be more proud of her than I am now.

Other than that, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to friends. I realize now that some of them are two-faced, and most of them just don’t care. I don’t like giving up on friendships, but maybe I’ll have to end up doing that. I understand having a boyfriend is nice, but he shouldn’t be your first priority all the time. I have a boyfriend, and sure, he means a lot to me and I like spending time with him/talking to him — especially now since we’re doing this stupid long-distance thing again — but I still make time for other friends. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I also hate when people tell me they’re going to do something and then don’t.

Edit: As I had suspected, my uncle was just off his rocker. My grandfather went through the surgery fine and is recovering nicely. I wish my uncle would realize how badly he’s stressing out my dad.

I haven’t updated in a while again; just for the fact that my life is so ..predictable? I don’t know. I don’t do anything exciting at all. My day consists of sleeping in late, playing Halo 3, and staying up late. It’s the same routine. Over and over and over. I need to find a job, but finding a job down here is so hard to for some reason. At first I figured my brother was lying for the sake of being lazy, but he wasn’t. Hardly anywhere is hiring.

Robert moved out of his grandmother’s house. He’s living with Mike and Alex now. I don’t blame him for moving out, and at first I was angry for my own selfish reasons, but I know what he had to go through, and I’m glad he got out. I just feel bad for Thomas and Ashley because they’re still stuck there. I wish The Department of Children and Families wasn’t so retarded.

Other than that, nothing. I spent the night with my sister Saturday and Sunday night. I had a lot of fun and I’m sad for all the time that we missed when she was on drugs, but at least now she’s finally cleaned up and in a healthy relationship. I really like Chad a lot and he’s really good for her. I really hope she doesn’t screw this up.

Well, I hung out with Robin, Megan, and her boyfriend, Daniel tonight. We went out to eat at a place called Aron’s Pizza, and decided we wanted to go to a strip club. I’m not sure how strip clubs came into the conversation, but they did.

We were going to go to Solid Gold, which is nude bar, but it was $10 to get in, and plus you had to buy a $5 drink. Uh, gay? So after calling my sisters boyfriend, Chad, we ended up driving to San Juan Blvd and going to the strip club my sister was working at that night called Flashdancers. They weren’t going to let us in at first, but apparently your sister being a stripper pays off.

I got introduced to more strippers and they’re always so nice, haha. We stayed for about an hour and a half, and the manager told my sister that we needed to leave. We watched her dance — which was a little awkward seeing as how she’s my sister — and then we left. She was so excited to see me. I love her!

Me and my sister.

After that we went back to Megan’s house and chilled. Robin and I played Fooseball against Megan and her brother, Luke. We lost, but it was fun. I was going to play beer pong, but I’ve never played before and I didn’t want to play with a bunch of people I didn’t know and look like a noob.

So next week or the week after we’re going to go to her house and play beer pong. Probably liquor pong because I’m not a big fan of beer. I had a lot of fun tonight. I loveee my friends.

As you can see, it’s been quite a while since my previous update. It’s mostly a lack of not having anything to update about. My life is pretty boring at the moment, and I usually do the same thing every day. D: really want to try and update this thing regularly. On Saturday I’m going back to my aunt’s, I believe.

I made a new page, dedicated to my wonderful boyfriend, Robert. It was something I’ve actually been meaning to do for a while, but never really got around to it. So with persistence from him, I’ve finally finished it.

I’m probably going back to Connecticut soon again since Robert isn’t shipping until the end of November now, which frustrates me. I wish the Army would just get their crap together. :l Yes, I get more time to spend with him, but I really want him to finish Basic. I want to be able to start my life with him. On that note.. I still haven’t gotten a letter from Christopher, which makes me extremely sad. I really want to know how he’s doing and if he’s getting along OK. I miss him a lot.

Bungie was supposed to announce something really big today, but their publisher changed their minds at the last second. This is what the website says:

From: Harold Ryan
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:00 PM
Subject: E3 Announce

“For the last several months, we’ve been working toward the reveal of something exciting that Bungie is working on. We we’re looking forward to sharing that with our fan community during the week of E3. However, those plans were just changed by our publisher.

We realize that many of our fans are disappointed by these turns of events; members of the Bungie team share that disappointment.

When the right time comes, we look forward to sharing this announcement with you. Until then, we appreciate your continued patience and support.”

Harold Ryan
President
Bungie LLC

View it here.

It was posted at exactly 7:00pm, though, which makes me wonder. Bungie has always had a fascination with the number seven. I guess in due time we’ll find out.

I’ve been watching LOST a lot lately. And honestly, this show is amazing. It constantly has me gripping the edge of my seat. I’m currently watching the end of season three’s episode “Greatest Hits.” I’m not going to say who they’re killing off since I don’t want to spoil any late viewers, but I really wish they wouldn’t. Pretty soon I’ll be caught up with season four and waiting anxiously like everyone else for the fifth season!

It’s storming really bad right now. To the point where trees are bending, and apparently, my dad heard one crack. Which is nice, I guess, since we have a ton of trees here. /sarcasm.

Well, the power actually went out, so I’m typing this into a WordPad document so I have something to do. My laptop doesn’t have much battery life left, seeing as how is what only sixty percent charged when the electricity decided to go out. It was thundering and lightning really bad; so bad that it knocked down two trees. It knocked out a big Oak in our front yard next to the chain-link fence (which ended up breaking the fence AND knocking out the phone lines), and one in the backyard. The wind was so strong that it also knocked over the gazebo. Storms like this really make me worry about how bad hurricane season is going to end being. I really picked the best time to come back to Florida, didn’t I?

I was actually going to post this bit of my entry on Wednesday night, or Thursday morning, but I figured since I already posted a blog earlier that day, that two posts in one day would look a little excessive, and then I wouldn’t have anything to update about today!

Wednesday morning, my sister came over bright and early. Bright and early being 8:00am. I’m not a morning person at all (one of the reasons I hated Circuit City so much), and she decides to come in and wake me up. I hadn’t gone to bed until about 4am that morning, either, so I was tired and cranky. After I finally got out of bed I showered and we went and picked Chad (her boyfriend) up from work. We went back to the house and ate lunch and waited for it to be time for derby practice. My sister is a Jacksonville Roller Girl.

We got to the Skate Station in Mandrin and I was forced to go roller skating. I haven’t been skating since like, sixth or seventh grade. It was terrifying, and I thought I was going to die. It reminded me of the time Robin, Megan, and I went to the ice skating rink with her family for her birthday a couple of years ago. Here’s a picture.

That’s me being terrified of falling and busting my ass. Look at how perfect the sign is: ‘Skate at your own risk.’ Ha.

So, eventually it was time for everybody else to leave, and the Jacksonville Roller Girls had their practice. These girls have some balls. I saw my sister get knocked into, and she flew about three feet up in the air and landed on her ass. ..And she got right back up. I could not do this. One girl broke her ankle before when she was doing it, and my sister messed up her knee at the Tallahassee game. It really amazes me how much they love this sport, though, and how dedicated they are to it. The love it. Bruises, broken bones, and all. While we were there, these high school kids kept throwing ice cubes into the rink. This sport is hard enough as it is, as well as dangerous enough, and they pulled this shit? They got bitched at by quite a few Roller Girls, and they’re some hardcore looking chicks, so I think it sunk in.

For any of you who live in the Jacksonville area, the Roller Girls are holding a car wash at The Beaches next Saturday. So go check it out and get your car washed by some of the baddest bitches in this city.

So, to all of you people who are unsupportive of my relationship: piss off. And for those of you who are clueless: Over two years ago I met my current boyfriend of two and a half years (who I love very much). How did we meet? Xbox LIVE. Yes, I met my boyfriend during a game of Halo 2 on Xbox LIVE. We started dating on January 20th of 2006 (wow, has it really been that long?).

Six months after we started “dating” I flew up to Connecticut by myself and met him. I obviously didn’t end up raped or murdered. Between then and now I’ve flown up quite a few times — I even lived with him for a year — and I’m still alive. Just because I met him on the internet doesn’t mean he’s some psycho who abuses me or treats me badly. He treats me really well, and I’m sick of negative comments.

When couples meet on eHarmony it isn’t frowned upon, or given shocked looks and sideways glances. How is that any different? So I didn’t meet my boyfriend at my high school, in the same town, or the same state. What difference does it make? So Xbox LIVE isn’t a dating service, but come on. I’m sick of people making me feel like a loser because of the way I met him. But you know what? I’m not ashamed, because out of the thousand plus people that play on Xbox LIVE I was lucky enough to find somebody that I love. He really is my other half; he completes me.

Don’t tell me that long distance relationships don’t work, either, because they do. You just have to find two people willing to make sacrifices and spend more time alone than with the other person. You have to have two strong-willed individuals capable of making it work; two people capable of trusting on both ends. I love my boyfriend with all of my heart and I trust him more than anything not to screw this up; and I know he trusts me.

“Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”

And as far as my promise ring: Do I look like I care that it wasn’t more than $200.00? No. I don’t. As far as I’m concerned, I love it because it’s a customized ring and he put thought into when he bought it and chose the stones. The fact that it came from the heart means more to me than any diamond in the world.

I love my boyfriend, and he loves me. So just keep your negative, cynical comments to yourself and leave us be.

So, I was going through some things in my bedroom, sidetracking myself from actually cleaning it. I haven’t cleaned it since I’ve been back. I’ve been back for about two weeks now. Anyway, I was going through a plastic tub in my room that has scrapbook materials and other things, and I found a drawing I did my senior year of high school. It was about the only thing I did in that class that I was actually proud of. Here it is:

If you can’t tell what it is, it’s a penguin. The little things that look like keyholes are fish. I think I did a pretty good job on it since I’m usually bad at drawing/shading; or any art, for that matter. I also have an abstract painting I did my junior year that I’m particularly proud of it. Well, I’m just mainly proud of the tree.

Speaking of which, I really miss Mrs. Price. She was my ceramics teacher freshman year, as well as my painting teacher junior year. She really was an amazing teacher, and has such an impact on my life, as well as my school work. I found out she doesn’t work at Ridgeview anymore, though, which makes me sad. I would have loved to go up to the school and visit her when school starts back up again.

Well, today is 7/7, which means today is Bungie Day! And for those of you who know what I’m talking about, today you can head over to the Xbox LIVE marketplace and download a nice theme for your dashboard, and some Bungie themed gamerpics, as well as Cold Storage. Cold Storage is a remake of the Halo: CE map, Chill Out. Here’s a description:

The Cold Storage facility was once a vibrant, active research center on Installation 05. An accidental contamination resulted in an unforeseen outbreak, which compromised the Forerunner center. Now, emptied and silent, watched only by a local caretaker, the abandoned structure serves as a reminder of how something as powerful as science is ultimately beholden to nature.

I haven’t had a chance to run around the map yet, but I will once Leo is done with his fix of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. I feel like I’m the only person of my friends who doesn’t actually enjoy the game. It’s a point and shoot game, which takes no skill at all. Plus, you can’t play split-screen on it. Or maybe I’m just too much of a Bungie Fangirl? Probably.

Nothing else has been going on. Finding a job is proving harder than I thought. I applied at the Circuit City down here, but given how I ended my last job, I doubt my former manager, Brenda, will consider me for rehire, which I find ridiculous. I was a really good worker, and worked harder than half of the people in the warehouse. Oh well. Life goes on.

I’m finding that I enjoy Wordpress a lot more than LiveJournal. I love LiveJournal still, and I’ve been on it for a while, but this just looks so much more cleaner and it feels.. more professional, I guess. Thank you again, Dani. You’re the best. And I have a new theme! What do you guys think?